You may spend a huge amount of time self-protecting and taking things into your own hands. You try to protect yourselves from people who may reject, betray, or invalidate you. You try to navigate, and fix people and situations to protect yourself. If you look at what you are thinking and choosing to do in varying situations, you will realize how much of your time is spent in self-protecting.
If you find yourself a victim of verbal or emotional abuse who feels brokenhearted and crushed in spirit, walk through the steps, applying one tool after another, to become proactive in creating the future that you desire and the good future God desires for you.